WWE Smackdown review August 24, 2007 Taped 8/21/07 at the University of South Carolina Aired on The CW Report by Greg Parks, PWTorch.com
-WWE Open.
-Video review of Kane/Khali
-Smackdown Open.
-Cole and Tazz welcomed us to the University of South Carolina, and mentioned that Batista would take on Finlay tonight.
-Vince McMahon and Coach came out. Coach said that they are getting closer to finding out who Vince’s illegitimate son is. Coach said he knows this male is white, but Vince looked at him strangely. Kane’s music hit. Vince immediately said there was no way Kane was his son. Didn’t Kane burn his parents in a fire or something? Kane said his dad (Vince) wasn’t there for a lot of his firsts. He said he didn’t want Vince’s money, he only wanted one thing: Finlay. Vince said it would be Finlay vs. Kane at SummerSlam. As Vince began to say there was no family resemblance, Chris Masters’ music hit. Now this would actually make sense. Masters had proof that Kane wasn’t Vince’s son. He asked if something that ugly could be the fruit of Vince’s loins? He had a piece of paper- a picture, actually, that showed Masters at 10 years old, shaking hands with Vince. He then challenged Kane to a Master-Lock challenge. Coach and Vince stood off in the corner. A chair and ref were brought out. Kane got impatient and challenged Masters for KANE to put the MasterLock on him. Masters was about to sit down but thought better of it, only to receive a chokeslam from Kane. Vince tore up the picture of Masters and himself. Chuck Palumbo came out on his bike (that he makes from scratch!) to a surprising pop. McMahon made a match between the two left in the ring.
1- CHRIS MASTERS VS. CHUCK PALUMBO Palumbo dominated the early stages, as Masters was still recovering from the chokeslam. Palumbo hit some power moves, but the tide was turned when Masters hung Palumbo throat-first on the top rope. Palumbo shook off some Masters offense and took over on offense. Belly-to-belly suplex as the camera showed Coach and Vince looking on at ring-side. Palumbo finished Masters with the “Full Throttle” gut-wrench-like suplex.
WINNER: Palumbo at 1:59. Pretty sloppy for as long as it lasted, but Chuckie looked semi-impressive.
-A divas bikini contest is coming up tonight.
[Break]
2- CHAVO GUERRERO VS. FUNAKI They’ve relegated Funaki to “currently in the ring.” Chavo went after Funaki with a European uppercut and pretty much had his way with the former member of Kaientai. Funaki made a short comeback, including a headscissor take-over and a face-buster. As he went to the top, Chavo knocked him off. Chavo stomped a proverbial mud-hole into Funaki. Guerrero went to work on the knee, slamming it repeatedly into the steel ring post. The bell rang, and I’m assuming it was either a DQ for not listening to the ref, or a count-out. Either way, a win for Funaki. After the match, Chavo continued his beating, then started talking to a Rey mask. He put it on Funaki’s head, and rammed a chair into Funaki’s knee.
WINNER: Funaki at 2:15. Certainly got over what a psycho Chavo has turned into, and cast some doubt on how the returning Rey would fare at SummerSlam.
-Tonight, Batista faces Finlay.
[Break]
3- JAMIE NOBLE VS. JIMMY WANG YANG-WINNER BECOMES #1 CONTENDER FOR CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE Noble hit a snap-mare, then shoulder tackle, but Yang came back with a standing moonsault for two. High-energy opening minute from these two. Right on cue, Noble applied a body-scissors. Yang reversed it into a monkey flip, then hit a pair of clotheslines. Noble went to the top, but Yang stopped him and hit a hurricanrana off the top for a two-count. Yang missed a moonsault and Noble hit his finisher for the victory.
WINNER: Noble at 2:28. Fun while it lasted.
-After the match, Noble went under the ring to look for Hornswaggle. No dice. As Noble was shaking his head, facing the Titan-Tron, Hornswaggle poked his head out from under the ring and laughed. By the time Noble turned around, the leprechaun was gone.
-Higlights of Evander Holyfield/Matt Hardy from Saturday Night’s Main Event were shown. Makes me yearn for the Brawl For All. Tonight, a 1-on-1 Basketball Challenge between Hardy and M.V.P.
-Backstage, Teddy Long offered to help Kristal with her bikini from behind a closed door. Kristal came out in a robe, saying he’d have to see it with the rest of America. M.V.P. came in wanting to talk to Long. Teddy made fun of Porter, but Montel claimed he’d be “Ballin’” tonight. Porter said he was better than anyone, and Long suggested that he could win the tag titles by himself. M.V.P said he could win the titles with anyone, and Porter said he’d win them with the next person who walked in the door. It was Matt Hardy. Teddy said next week, the two would team up to take on Deuce ‘N Domino. “I don’t like him, Teddy,” complained M.V.P. He sounded like a mad 10-year old.
[Break]
-Vince and Coach walked up to Chuck Palumbo backstage. Vince said he had a bike back home, and Chuck said his dad was into bikes. Then he mentioned that his dad got into a motorcycle accident and they had to peel him off an 18-wheeler. Which, Chuck said, his mom was driving. Was that supposed to be funny?
4- DEUCE ‘N DOMINO VS. SHANNON MOORE & EUGENE That’s a bit of an odd pairing. Deuce shook hands with Eugene, then short-arm clotheslined him. Shannon tagged in and hit a dropkick. He then ducked a charge and went to the top, but was pulled down by his hair by Deuce. Shannon wiggled out of a powerslam and made the hot tag to Eugene, who hit the big boot and legdrop for a near-fall. Eugene flipped Moore over the top and onto Domino. Deuce kicked Eugene as he was turning around and got the pin.
WINNERS: Deuce ‘N Domino at 2:27. Just a match to remind us who the champs were for next week’s battle with the mis-matched duo.
-M.V.P was getting ready for the hoops challenge, which is next.
[Break]
-Triple H is returning video.
-The 1-on-1 basketball contest took place. Every basket was worth one point, first to 11 wins. The game took place just to the left of the aisle, just ahead of the Titan-tron. M.V.P said he’d show the fans something he showed Dwayne Wade, then he missed an easy lay-up. He then said he’d show something he taught Vince Carter, and he dunked it. Successfully, surprisingly. Matt finally came out before Porter showed all of his moves. The game started and Matt bounced the ball of M.V.P’s face, then easily took it in for a basket. He looked like he’d never dribbled a ball before. Deuce ‘N Domino came out and attacked Hardy and M.V.P. Cole suggested this attack could bond the two enemies.
-Tonight, Batista vs. Finlay.
[Break]
5- MARK HENRY VS. BRAD ALLEN Henry forearmed the jobber down and kicked Allen in the gut. Henry powerslammed Allen and did a little trash talking to boot. “The only difference between God and (South Carolina football coach Steve) Spurrier is God never mistook himself for Spurrier”- JBL. Henry put Allen in the bear hug to finish it.
WINNER: Henry at 1:40.
-Henry questioned the presence of the druids the past few weeks, and said he doesn’t get intimidated. The bell tolled and the arena went dark in the middle of his promo. A creepy Undertaker video aired. Henry, still in the ring, looked a bit nervous, but yelled to the crowd as they chanted “Taker, Taker.”
-The Divas bikini contest is next.
[Break]
-Michael Cole emceed the bikini contest. The participants were Torrie Wilson, Kristal, Michelle McCool and Victoria. Each diva had 15 seconds to model, then the crowd would vote with their cheers. Kristal was first. She wore a plain bikini, pink and white striped. Michelle was next, wearing a shiny gold bikini. Victoria had an interesting top on (I’m a guy, I don’t know how to describe it), then did some strange dance moves. Torrie was last, with a darker pink bikini. Before Cole asked for the crowd to vote, he remembered he had a special participant. It was South Carolina’s own Mae Young. Dear God....they’re going to allow this on network TV? Thankfully, she was wearing a one-piece. She even had a little pep in her step. Without voting, Cole declared Mae the winner. As Cole went in for an interview, she started taking her straps down, but the other divas stopped her.
-Batista/Finlay is still to come tonight.
[Break]
-Jesse and Festus on: BBQ.
-Cole and J.B.L ran down the SummerSlam card.
-Batista made his way to the ring for the main event.
[Break]
6- BATISTA VS. FINLAY Batista sent Finlay to the mat early. Test of strength, won by Batista. Back elbow caught Finlay off the ropes and sent him down. Batista got a two count on the pin attempt. He backed the Irishman into the corner and worked on the arm. Finlay got the upper-hand for a moment, but Finlay jumped off the apron and into Batista’s arms on the floor, and Batista slammed him spine-first into the apron. Finlay turned things around and sent Batista back-first into the ring post. As Batista was thrown into the ring, The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh came down to the ring.
[Break]
Finlay was schooling Batista with some mat work as we got back from break. Batista countered with a jaw-breaker, but Finlay came back with a dropkick and went back to work. Finlay laid some elbows and knees in between submission moves. Batista got to his feet and backed Finlay into the corner, snap-maring him out. Finlay jumped on to Batista, but again, that didn’t work, as Batista just caught him and tossed him to the outside. The Animal started taking apart the announce desk. He saw Khali moving in his direction, and walked toward him with a chair. Batista tried to get back in the ring, but Finlay slowed him up and hit a neck-breaker for two. Batista came back and hit a clothesline in the corner, then a spinning side-slam. He set Finlay up for a Batista Bomb, but Khali got up on the apron, and Batista went after him for the DQ.
WINNER: Batista, at 12:01.
-After the bell rang, Finlay nailed Batista from behind, then Khali chopped him. Batista blocked the head claw and kicked Khali in the groin, then speared him. As Khali rolled to the outside, Finlay attacked Batista. Superman, I mean Batista, came back and hammered away at Finlay. A number of refs and agents (I spy: Dean Malenko and Mike Rotunda) had to get Batista off both men. Khali was busted open as he made his way back to the locker room.
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