We see a recap of Shawn Michaels returning last week, then Randy Orton visits William Regal to talk about the situation. Orton suggests a match between his three potential Cyber Sunday opponents, Michaels, Mr Kennedy and Jeff Hardy. Regal says he has a decision and an announcement to make. Post-credits, Regal comes out to the stage and, after playing with the English crowd to get them on his side (which seems to be accompanied by some weird editing), announces that Randy Orton will in fact face the three potentials, starting with Jeff Hardy.
Jeff Hardy Vs Randy Orton: Orton doesn't look pleased. Well I suppose it would be a bit rubbish if he came out skipping and rubbing his hands with glee. Once the match starts, Hardy uses his quickitude to have some success, culminating with a pescado to Orton on the outside. After a break, Orton has Hardy in a chinlock. We'll be seeing more of that hold tonight. Orton does his stomps and a knee drop gets two. Hardy gets a comeback and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two. Hardy goes up top for the Swanton, but Kennedy comes out to distract him, allowing Orton to hit the RKO for the win. Winner: Randy Orton (Time 8:28)
Santino Marella Vs Val Venis: Maria is out with Santino and looking a touch skanky. Santino rips on England, then decides everyone looks so miserable because they've just finished watching The Condemned. In what is presumably a tribute to England, Val comes out looking very pasty. Santino attacks Val's knee from the bell, keeps attacking it, then attacks it some more, Val fights back with some knockdowns, but Santino sits down on a sunset flip roll up in the corner, and grabs the rope to get the pin. Winner: Santino Marella (2:39)
Diva Search: "The most fun part of it was running".
Carlito and Coachman share a joke, but the mood turns nasty as Carlito laughs about Hornswoggle. Coachman says he wants to get rid of him for good, then the little fella appears and nicks Coachman's apple. Well, Coachman had nicked it from Carlito, who's the real victim here? Coachman chases after Hornswoggle, they mess up the canteen, then disappear into the distance.
Mr McMahon talks to Regal about the whereabouts of HHH. Regal says he's in no condition to fight due to the beating he took from Umaga. McMahon questions the way Regal says Umaga.
Mr Kennedy Vs Randy Orton: How long before Jeff Hardy appears? Kennedy announces himself, which the English crowd loves. Simpletons. Orton and Kennedy wrestle for three and a half minutes, at which point Kennedy hits his fireman's carry roll thing (not from the ropes), which is the cue for Hardy to turn up, kick Kennedy down, and hit him with the Swanton. I guess it's a dq win for Kennedy, but they don't announce anything. Winner: Mr Kennedy (3:34)
Mr McMahon comes dows to the ring to talk about Cyber Sunday, and how great it is for the fans. He brings out Umaga. I've just noticed Andy 'Boy' Simmons in the ring shitting himself. McMahon points out that there are three choices for the Umaga match with HHH at Cyber Sunday, one of those being a Streetfight. McMahon talks to Simmons (not the butler) and asks him if he is afraid. "Yeah".
Umaga Vs Andy Simmons: (Streetfight) Funnily enough, Umaga beats the crap out of Simmons, throwing him over the announce table and Samoan dropping him onto a chair for the three count. McMahon stops Simmons as he is being helped out, and tells him the fans could also vote for a first blood match... Winner: Umaga (1:36)
Umaga Vs Andy Simmons: (First Blood) Umaga uses his head, then thumbs Simmons to the throat multiple times, making him cough up blood. Of course, there is a third option for Cyber Sunday: a cage match... Winner: Umaga (1:27)
Umaga Vs Andy Simmons: (Steel cage match) Simmons gets a little bit of respite as the cage is lowered and McMahon shows replays of what we've just seen. The match starts with Umaga throwing Simmons into the cage. McMahon talks on the mic as this goes on, calling Simmons HHH. Umaga does some more throwing, then steps out the door. Winner: Umaga (1:25)
Hornswoggle is still running from Coachman. He hops on a tiny tricycle, Coachman follows on a bike, Ron Simmons says Damn.
Jillian Hall Vs Candice Michelle: Jillian gets on the mic and tells Lilian her performance last week was pathetic. Well, it wasn't great. Jillian keeps talking, then starts singing. Unlike Lilian's spanish singing, Jillian is going to sing in British. Wannabe by the Spice Girls to be precise. She is interrupted by Candice Michelle's music. Sweet baby Moses, can we not hear Jillian instead? Jillian attacks Candice as she enters the ring, but things don't last long as Candice hits the Candy Wrapper for the quick win. Winner: Candice Michelle (0:40)
We get a taped promo from Beth Phoenix, who reveals that Candice Michelle is getting her rematch next week on Raw. Bob Holly talks to Cody Rhodes, questioning his decision to take him on again. Cody says he can beat him and earn his respect. Bob slaps him hard to fire him up.
Brian Kendrick Vs Rory McAllister: Both men have their respective tag partners with them, and Cade & Murdoch are at ringside for commentary. Rory dominates Brian, which is boring. Kendrick gets a boot up and begins a comeback, but Robbie distracts him, allowing Rory to hit a one man Scot Drop for the three count. Winner: Rory McAllister (3:16)
Todd Grisham's guest at this time is Shawn Michaels. Basically, he wants to get his revenge on Randy. Coachman chases Hornswoggle into the Diva's Locker room. Then out again. After another Jericho thing, this time with the words 'Upon us' in it, Hornswoggle runs down to the ring, and under it. Coachman takes a giant cartoon style plunger from under the ring, and threatens to blow Hornswoggle up. He pushes it and nothing happens, so Coachman follows the wire under the ring. Obviously, Hornswoggle comes out, sees the plunger, and pushes it. The cameras wobble and smoke comes from under the ring. Coachman comes out covered in soot, as Horny jigs about.
Cody Rhodes Vs Bob Holly: Who cares? Cody gets a bunch of roll up nearfalls, but holly hits the Alabama Slam for the third win. Winner: Bob Holly (3:52)
Shawn Michaels Vs Randy Orton: HBK pounds on Orton at the bell, and doesn't stop when Orton rolls out of the ring. Back in the ring, HBK gets a two count, but Orton hits an elbow and slows the pace down. HBK blocks a superplex, knocks Orton off the ropes, and hits the big elbow. Kennedy runs in before HBK can think about any Sweet Chin Music, with Jeff Hardy coming down for the save. Winner: Shawn Michaels (2:12)
Hardy is thrown out of the ring, Orton stalks HBK for the RKO, HBK blocks the move thereby shoving Orton into Kennedy, and Orton turns round into the superkick. HBK looks pleased with his night's work as his music plays and we fade to black.
Well that was a typical overseas Raw: not much on the way of action and a whole lot of filler. Still, there've been much worse editions of Raw this year.
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